iMingle - Insuring the i Generation.

I admit it – before I became an insurance mascot, I was among the millions of American renters who didn’t have their apartments insured. I just never really thought about it, nor do many people. Which is a shame; it’s really misunderstood. As your very best friend in the whole wide world who gives you great information, and a knowledgeable insurance mascot, I figured I’d provide answers to some of the more common myths about it:

MYTH: I don’t need Renters Insurance; my landlord will cover my apartment in case of theft or disaster!
FACT: Most Landlord Insurance covers the apartment structure itself (walls, toilets, etc.) but won’t reimburse tenants for their personal possessions. Plus, even if your roommate has renters insurance, you may not be covered on his or her policy!

MYTH: I don’t need Renters Insurance; my stuff isn’t that expensive.
FACT: Is it really that cheap? Add up the value all of your clothes, electronics, and furniture. And that million dollar dog* you have. You wouldn’t call that cumulative cost expensive?

MYTH: Renters Insurance is way too pricey, there’s no way I can make the payments.
FACT: Renters Insurance from iMingle is usually less than $1/day! Many people spend more on coffee.

MYTH: I can cover the small expenses myself, but I’m only worried about being sued. There’s no way Renters Insurance covers that!
FACT: With iMingle Personal Liability Coverage included in all its Renters Insurance policies, you can get money to pay for a legal defense and damages.

MYTH: I don’t have time to get Renters Insurance right now…I’ll do it later when I’m free.
FACT: Renters Insurance can be purchased in only a few minutes. Recouping the loss of a theft or natural disaster without it can take years.

Hopefully that clears things up a bit! Now if we could only debunk where I left my keys…

Although I’m not currently married, I hope to one day find that special someone and settle down. I really just want somebody who can accept me for who I am – I was dating this one girl a few months back and things were going great until she kept on trying to change me. “Max, go see a dermatologist! Your skin is green and gold; that’s nothing close to normal!” Nag, nag, nag! But I tell you, once I meet that special someone, nothing short of a restraining order will keep us apart. I’m just not as much of a romantic as a certain man from Crestview, Florida – he wouldn’t let something silly like a restraining order get in the way of his marriage proposal!

Well, okay. That’s taking it a bit too far. Like Woody Harrelson asks Jesse Eisenberg in that movie about zombies, “Have you ever read that book, ‘She’s Just Not That Into You’”? If we can’t get life lessons from a movie focused on finding a Twinkie® and running away from the undead, then everything I thought I knew was wrong. What were we talking about, again? Oh yes, unrequited love. It’s brutal. As Charlie Brown once said, “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love”. That doesn’t make much sense to me, but it could be that I don’t think anything could temper my enthusiasm for peanut butter. However, Mr. Brown never steered me wrong before, so I’ll have to just take him at his word.

Let’s hope that all those starry-eyed lovebirds out there meet each other, preferably without restraining orders!

Max

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a pilot. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for everyone else), my eyes didn’t fit the requirements. They didn’t even come close – in fact, the flight doctor couldn’t even find my eyes to give me the proper inspection! So I became an insurance mascot instead, and everything ended up working out. Anyways, I’ve always had the utmost respect for people making sure our flight experiences are smooth and enjoyable; we wouldn’t want a plane to accidentally make a PA announcement that they’re going to make an emergency landing in the Atlantic Ocean, would we?

No, we wouldn’t. But everybody makes mistakes, and luckily, they rectified this one within a minute. While I’m sure people panicked, and might not have been satisfied with the specific apology, still, the airline offered a sincere, legitimate apology. Unlike when you say something like, “I’m Sorry I Offended You”. Oh, so you’re not sorry that you said my mother’s so fat, that when she sits around the house, she sits *AROUND* the house but you are sorry that it hurt my feelings? Um, thanks buddy.

Anyways, let this be a lesson to you: don’t claim that something terrible is about to happen unless it actually is. I’m thinking of writing a book about it, I’ll call it The Boy Who Cried Wolf. It’s going to make me famous!

Max

As you know, on top of writing this blog and being a handsome, charming and “modest” man, I’m also a representative of iMingle Insurance. Therefore, although I’m a true Renaissance Man and know everything about everything, I especially know a lot about cars. So as your good friend who’s all about helping other people save green, I’m dedicating this post to getting better fuel mileage. The better your mileage; the less you have to pay at the gas pump. The less you have to pay at the gas pump; the more you have to spend on boxes of 1,500 live ladybugs. Or even better, something else. Yes, please, anything else! Anyhow, here are some useful tidbits:

• Make sure you have your gas capped. Believe it or not, gas caps stop up to 2% of your gas from evaporating into wallet-killing air!
• Run your tires with their recommended pressure. Even being 20% under the recommended value may increase fuel consumption by 10%!
• Periodically tune up your car and get new spark plugs.
• Know where you’re going. People drive over 255 unnecessary miles a year simply because they’re lost – investing in a reliable GPS system, app or looking on a site like Google Maps or MapQuest beforehand can save you quite a bit of gas—and road trip headaches.

These are all pretty simple, so start doing them now to save yourself some cash! Do you know of any other tips to improve your car’s mileage? See you in the comments!

Max

You’ve heard it dozens of times. It’s the classic love story. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy switches his deodorant, boy gets girl back, and the commercial ends. Or some spin on that. Here’s a new twist on an old favorite: boy meets girl, girl gives boy wrong phone number, girl realizes her mistake and uses an extensive social media search campaign to find boy, then boy laughs it off because he already has a girlfriend. The end. I know almost nothing about either of these people, but whatever. I already started writing this, so I’m going to anoint myself an international dating expert and declare that if he doesn’t want to respond, he doesn’t deserve her.

Or maybe she doesn’t deserve him – the whole ordeal seems kind of creepy. Imagine that you meet an interesting person for a brief period of time, hit it off, flirt a little, and don’t see each other again. Then, a few weeks later, you find that you’re the center of a massive operation completely focused on your dating life. It’s almost like a cross between All About Steve and The Truman Show, wouldn’t you say? Oh, you wouldn’t say anything because you didn’t see them? Then just take my word for it, okay? Yeesh, someone’s feeling argumentative today.

As upsetting as this may be for her, as they say, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. And since she seems to be a fan of social media, don’t worry – we can use Facebook to properly identify each fish!

Max

I realize that I wrote this, and you’re reading this, from a computer. And nothing’s wrong with that – computers are necessary in today’s workforce, they’re great for socializing, and they’re the only way to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or StumbleUpon. I am not, at all, anti-technology. Sure, I was scared of toasters and electric pencil sharpeners near the Y2K scare, but those days are far behind us. That being said, some people are way too…digital. A prominent blogger’s New Year’s Resolution is to go a half hour a day without smartphones, computers, and TV.

This means that prior to the resolution, he didn’t have even thirty minutes in his day without technology. Which begs the question: how? Did he fall asleep to his TV, every night? Did he “meet” his friends over dinner with Skype? Did he bathe with his phone? Actually, he just may have, with the iPhone shower app!

While I still don’t quite understand how the man doesn’t even have a half-hour a day without technology, I commend him for his efforts. We should all spend more time outside. The world is a beautiful place with parks, and beaches, and bears, Oh My! When was the last time you went kayaking, camping, skiing, hiking, or snipe hunting? If you actually did go snipe hunting, don’t admit it. I never got fooled into it, I swear!

Max

Have you heard of the Lost World? No, not the Jurassic Park movie. Do you think I’m talking about Atlantis? You know, the ancient Greek city that may or may not have existed and sunk into the bottom of the ocean. I have some interesting news: scientists recently found The Lost World! No, not Atlantis. You’d have heard of that by now, right? As awesome as I am, I shouldn’t be your only source of news. And if I am, please let me know in the comments, maybe I’ll start moonlighting as a news broadcaster!

No, I’m talking about the Lost World…of Antarctica! Essentially, scientists have discovered oodles and boodles of new species (not poodles) under Antarctica. They look almost like aliens and have been baffling scientists lately. Many of them get nutrients from underwater steam vents instead of…what is it that most of us get our nutrients from…oh yeah, eating. After hearing this, I immediately had to give it a try and camped out in front of my heating ducts, expecting to get my daily dose of Vitamin C. After five minutes, I couldn’t take the hunger so I challenged Joey Chestnut to a gyro eating contest. I did not win.

Still, this is fascinating; it could completely alter what we know about aquatic life. Well, it could alter what those who already know something know, anyhow. I still can’t find Nemo. I wonder what famed fake architect and marine biologist George Costanza thinks…

Max

On top of being the first insurance provider to offer you and your friends to save an extra 10%– on top of discounts of 50% or more –with the iMingle Network® Discount –iMingle prides itself on its excellent customer service. On top of being swell guys and gals who want to make everyone feel comfortable, let’s face it: good customer service is just good business. After all, good customer service keeps customers happy, and a happy customer is a returning customer. That’s Common Sense 101, right? (Seriously, right? I’m asking because I don’t know.) There was a time conflict in mascot school between that and Zombies in Popular Media; you know which one I studied!

I’m glad I’m not the only one who missed that class; they may say that all publicity is good publicity, but they probably haven’t met Paul Christforo. Without delving too much into the details, Mr. Christforo was a customer service representative who e-mailed a customer unhappy about shipping delays. His e-mails included such tactless phrases as, “you look like a complete moron” and “Your sites amateur at best my son”. Needless to say, these offensive e-mails found themselves circulating all over, and he’s now looking for a new job.

Let this be an important lesson to you, folks: once you put something online, you lose control over your message. Be cautious out there, people have been fired for less than this, like dressing as Tinkerbell instead of tending to family emergencies. Heck, I was once fired for using the wrong paint color on a fence. Although in my former company’s defense, I was supposed to be delivering pizza…

Max